Thursday, 27 January 2011

Body Shoveling

I have decided that I am a genius. You can't possibly invent something so elementary yet so useful, if you weren't one. So, I give myself the genius award of the day. What did I invent? The brand new, eco-friendly, almost-nirvanic, body-shoveling method. This soon-to-be-patented method is especially useful when you have to dig yourself (actually your car) out of some God-awful gobs of snow. Like feet of snow. Like when there is already snow on either side of your car from the previous snow storm and before you are 15% into your shoveling for the day, the snow on either side of the car has piled up to shoulder height. Or worse.

So, what do you do in this case? Hoist the wet, white stuff over your shoulder by the shovel-fulls? If you answered yes, you are either Arnie (the ex-governor of California) or an Arnie wannabe, or a newbie at shoveling, or just plain insane! If you are none of the above, then this method is for you.
All you need for this to work, is some old waterproof winter gear (it's going to get messy, don't say I didn't warn you!), some waterproof winter boots and a shovel (it is still called shoveling). Oh! And of course, your body, the heavier the better.

So when you hit an impasse with the shoveling, when there is no more space to dump the white stuff, when you have already exhausted yourself carrying shovel loads of heavy snow along the road looking for a suitable place to dump it, then this what you do.

You go back to the snow bank on either side of you car. Stand facing perpendicular to the direction of the drive you are shoveling and tip over! Yes, topple. Ramrod straight, on your back, on to the snow. If you've done it properly you should either resemble a really leaning tower of Pisa, or you should be sitting on your snow-armchair. If you are sitting, then go get yourself something to drink and get back to sitting on your snow-chair. Wave happily to your neighbors as they labor through the powdery stuff. Once you have finished your drink, or if you have no drink, when you are really bored of sitting on your wonderful armchair, wiggle your bottom. If you like, you can even roll from side to side on the snow. Then get up. Voila! You have now reduced the height of your snow pile, got yourself some well earned rest, communed with nature and actually compacted some snow. All you have to do now, is to shovel the rest of the stuff on to the newly created crater (well didn't I tell you its better if you were bigger?)!!

See? Simple, useful. You can do some serious shoveling like this.

Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.


varsha said...

well well Einstein -I have little experience with shovelling snow -but this sounds like fun!!

Agnija said...

Yes, it nature's free upper body work out. :) I am sure you would enjoy it.