Monday 11 March 2013

Psychopath

Microfiction. Warning: Please don't read if you are offended by or do not like psycho-thrillers. Some language may be offensive to some people. Not suitable for young children.


I am a psychopath. It's their fault really. I cannot help myself. It's just the way they make me feel when they strut about in front of me. They got to my stuff, one time. Now, I don't tolerate no one getting to my stuff. So you see? It's not my fault. They started it.

I have my weapon cocked and ready as I sit in the silence of the darkness, waiting for them. I know they will come. They always do. It starts at the twilight hour and it goes on and on into the wee hours of the night.

Sometimes they come in singly. Sometimes in pairs and I see them making out. Making out! Can you believe that? Right in front of my eyes! Making babies, just like them! To start the cycle again! Vermin! One time, I discovered a whole lot of their babies huddling together. I fed the whole lot of them to the birds.

For the adults, I usually use my weapon. They are pretty slow, so usually I get them in a couple of tries. Sometime I slam them against the wall. Sometimes I simply water board them. But they still keep coming. I dream of the day when I will rid the universe of them forever.

Wham! Down goes one more. My weapon is better than any anti-aircraft guns. Die, pantry moth, die!  I am almost all out of plain vinegar in my spray bottle.
For the next batch, I will use some orange peels in the vinegar. No harm in making the home smell divine while I get rid of these pesky pests!

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1 comment:

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